Er is unterschiedlich.
Was jetzt mache ich?
Ich weiß nicht. Helfen mich.
die Verpflichtung, der Geliebter, die Lügen.
Was suche ich?
ich suche ein Wunsch ohne Lüge.
30.5.08
28.5.08
wrong
i felt that am doing something wrong.
i don't understand why am I living like this, entertaining people around which is the last thing i care to do. I even wanted to slap two park guests yesterday 'cause they were simply annoying. But the fact is that I could do nothing abt it 'cause I work for the park. Serving strangers whom i don't give a damn becomes my religion. last night this 10-year-old boy walked pass my stand n said "this job sucks." I felt hilarious. "indeed." I said to myself. there are people i know who has been working for Morey's Piers for years. OH MAN. I wish they are making big money.
Unbelievable, unfuckingbelievable.
I have been starving for days, since the plane brought me to the United States.
I have been telling people how much i dislike pizza n bread. right now am having hotdogs n pizza every day, every fucking single day. the size of the stuff are huge, too huge that even I could only finish half a pizza each time.
so basically i am making myself luxury steaks or salmon every morning and for the rest of the day just force myself to have few bites of the rough western food. My house mates thought i was weird due to the fact that they never saw people having steaks and wine or 满汗全席 for breakfasts. Well, alright, even I think i become so weird to the point that is funny.
i had this liquor at Corey's. "Knot" if i didnt spell it wrongly. That is damn good. I am not a flavor person, that i do not emphasize on the taste of liquor or wine or coffee, different brands are not too different for me. Knot is definitely the best stuff i've had so far in these few years. Oh and ya, the Latte in Wildwood is slightly better that it in Singapore, and of course much better than it in China. Tho' i found the way that Americans pronounce "Latte" pretty funny.
Gotta go to the bank, then supermarket, then go to work at 5.30p.m. Boy, life is still a mess. I can't even remember how to walk to these places.
i don't understand why am I living like this, entertaining people around which is the last thing i care to do. I even wanted to slap two park guests yesterday 'cause they were simply annoying. But the fact is that I could do nothing abt it 'cause I work for the park. Serving strangers whom i don't give a damn becomes my religion. last night this 10-year-old boy walked pass my stand n said "this job sucks." I felt hilarious. "indeed." I said to myself. there are people i know who has been working for Morey's Piers for years. OH MAN. I wish they are making big money.
Unbelievable, unfuckingbelievable.
I have been starving for days, since the plane brought me to the United States.
I have been telling people how much i dislike pizza n bread. right now am having hotdogs n pizza every day, every fucking single day. the size of the stuff are huge, too huge that even I could only finish half a pizza each time.
so basically i am making myself luxury steaks or salmon every morning and for the rest of the day just force myself to have few bites of the rough western food. My house mates thought i was weird due to the fact that they never saw people having steaks and wine or 满汗全席 for breakfasts. Well, alright, even I think i become so weird to the point that is funny.
i had this liquor at Corey's. "Knot" if i didnt spell it wrongly. That is damn good. I am not a flavor person, that i do not emphasize on the taste of liquor or wine or coffee, different brands are not too different for me. Knot is definitely the best stuff i've had so far in these few years. Oh and ya, the Latte in Wildwood is slightly better that it in Singapore, and of course much better than it in China. Tho' i found the way that Americans pronounce "Latte" pretty funny.
Gotta go to the bank, then supermarket, then go to work at 5.30p.m. Boy, life is still a mess. I can't even remember how to walk to these places.
20.5.08
Strike
I have been in the States for a week, technically 11 days.
The mood is getting better, in the sense of that am not feeling sad anymore.
Wildwood is a fine city, i think I like it. Quiet, near the beach, friendly locals and fat sea gulls flying around. I like the sea, tho' am still pretty scared to get into it.
Work is tough, maybe its because that's my first job? I have no idea. Now i feel like to remain as a student.
Life is not easy, money is not easy to make, and scholarship and bond are actually not to bad.
I am leading a routine life, too routine that I can't get used to it; wake up around 8 in the morning n sleep no later than 1. drinking milk n cooking my own meals. I still smoke, not a lot but the weather is designed for it.
my skin are dry n clean, my body is getting thinner, I even stop using luxury facial treatments, instead i use the traditional Chinese lotion. Life is getting simpler n simpler, too simple that i feel fake.
was checking the news about China earthquake. Bitter. a disaster, indeed. I love my country that I can't just be "cool" as usual and ignore her pain. My motherland is crying and that strikes my heart. I feel helpless. I am doing whatever I can but I can't get the souls back. People are suffering, there are children looking for their parents, lovers who are aparted, lands that have disappeared.
we learn from the tragedy. we learn how to love.
we feel the pain we cry.
Tears make us stronger.
The mood is getting better, in the sense of that am not feeling sad anymore.
Wildwood is a fine city, i think I like it. Quiet, near the beach, friendly locals and fat sea gulls flying around. I like the sea, tho' am still pretty scared to get into it.
Work is tough, maybe its because that's my first job? I have no idea. Now i feel like to remain as a student.
Life is not easy, money is not easy to make, and scholarship and bond are actually not to bad.
I am leading a routine life, too routine that I can't get used to it; wake up around 8 in the morning n sleep no later than 1. drinking milk n cooking my own meals. I still smoke, not a lot but the weather is designed for it.
my skin are dry n clean, my body is getting thinner, I even stop using luxury facial treatments, instead i use the traditional Chinese lotion. Life is getting simpler n simpler, too simple that i feel fake.
was checking the news about China earthquake. Bitter. a disaster, indeed. I love my country that I can't just be "cool" as usual and ignore her pain. My motherland is crying and that strikes my heart. I feel helpless. I am doing whatever I can but I can't get the souls back. People are suffering, there are children looking for their parents, lovers who are aparted, lands that have disappeared.
we learn from the tragedy. we learn how to love.
we feel the pain we cry.
Tears make us stronger.
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