A beautiful Mess

Song for today - So Sick by Ne-Yo

Once in a while I tend to listen to some old songs that I once deleted from my play list. I know Ne-Yo's pretty fresh. The song s not. Lately its been Dido, Jason Mraz and Ne-yo.

I bought a pack of cigarettes, hence I think I have the strength to write few boredom before sleep.

Recently I've been doing this meaningful-supposed-to-be musical show which turned out to be something wasted. In terms of money, human resources, and of course, time. However, It is not my business to judge, I'm just one of the dancers employed by somebody. You pay me money, I dance what the choreographer taught. Besides, I know nothing about musical, drama or whatsoever. One more show tomorrow and I am getting out of this endless £@$.

Watched My Sister's Keeper, which did make me cry my ass off. While nowadays everybody is pretending to smile 'till they are afraid to cry, I am glad that my tear gland functions. Didn't really learn much from the movie, only that I saw a love distortion, or rather a beautiful mess.

Insecurity comes into play pretty often during my recent conversation with friends. A girl was talking about how insecure her boyfriend feels about her. Another one was telling me how insecure this guy, whom she got a crush on, was. Most of the time I kept silent, ignored the talking and thought about this word "insecurity".

So the question is, why are the men today so insecure? And why are women still so obsessed with insecure guys? Wouldn't that quality be a huge turn off? Drop it.


Lately I've been repeating a sentence, or rather 3 words, to myself quite frequently - now or never. Gotta call myself a loser for being kinda Indecisive. But I guess the answer now is a Never. And to be a little more rational and a little less sensitive, the answer should be final. After all I am a busy girl with a very heavy schedule. Gotta be efficient.